Archives

All posts for the month March, 2017

Dear Adoption, You Erased Me

Published March 30, 2017 by maryleesdream

img_7988

Dear Adoption, You Erased Me

I am not part of my family anymore.  I am not my mother and father’s child.  My birth certificate was altered, and the person that I was born to be was erased from history, forever.  You took my name, and my home.

You took my mother.  Maybe she went along with it, but the result was she was gone.  It’s as if I was photo shopped onto another family portrait.

I think about you every day.  Some think that you should be part of my past, but you are not.  You are part of everyday.  I’m not able to put you behind me, and forget you.  You are there every time I look in the mirror, and see my mother.  You are there when I see my adoptive mother.  You are there when I look at my children, and when I try and sleep at…

View original post 916 more words

Traveling

Published March 25, 2017 by maryleesdream

florida

 

The world is a wonderful place.  I’m glad that I’m here.  My husband and children bring me great joy and happiness.

We just returned from a road trip, from New York to Orlando, Florida.  6 of us in my 10-year-old minivan.  She preformed like a champion!  Smooth, no breakdowns or problems at all.  We rented a house, and toured the theme parks.  6 adults.  I was tired, but happy.

I’m still adopted, of course.  That hurts all the time, but travelling helps.  As long as I keep moving, I don’t think about things so much.  Now that I’m back, so are the thoughts.

Being with my children is so great.  I cannot imagine not wanting to know them.  I can’t understand my father’s thinking.  How can you have a child, and grandchildren out there in the world, and not want to see them, ever?  It makes no sense to me.

How can you decide some of your children are worth knowing, but one is not?  I wish someone could explain it to me.  My father will not.  Are there any readers out there who have done this to one of their children, and can explain the reasoning behind it?

Why the whole family shunning me?  I understand it’s to support my father, but don’t I deserve love and support as well?  Am I some sort of sub-human, because of my adoption?  Please, explain, if you can.  I would love to understand, but the ones who’ve done this will not talk to me.