I had sent a letter to my Aunt Matriarch, asking for photos of my natural family, and asking why no one sent me Christmas cards. I was feeling pretty hurt and angry, and it showed.
I got a letter back from a different Aunt, Aunt Troll. She informed me that I was way out of line, and that the family heirlooms were split evenly between my grandparents 5 children. She told me if I wanted anything I could ask my father, if I had a better relationship with him.
This letter cut me deep, but I guess I cut them deep too. Once children are discarded, they have no rights to anything that belongs to their original family. It’s the law. I forgot about that in all the excitement of seeing my relatives for the first time.
So….I called Aunt Matriarch, and she gave my phone number to Aunt Troll. Aunt Troll called and proceeded to tell me just how things were. She started off with this gem, “I wish I was adopted”.
She went on to tell me how bad her childhood was, living in the big house with her family. Her mother wasn’t very loving, she didn’t always have a new winter coat. She told me how messed up my parents were, and that they would have killed me within a year if they had kept me.
She told me she would willingly give up her own children if she didn’t “have enough”. For someone who had never been adopted, she was pretty sure how much she would have enjoyed it! She ended this all by telling me that her sister was her best friend.
So, she wishes she was adopted, but she loves her sister? I’m not sure she understands just what she’s saying.
Then she told me that no one wanted me around because I was “just not nice”. I asked her what she was talking about, because I had been nothing but nice to this woman. I’d seen her two times in my life, and we barely spoke. I didn’t understand. She told me, I read what you sent to your father, we all did.
My heart dropped, but I kept going. We talked for awhile longer, then we hung up. I sat down to try and digest what happened. WE ALL READ WHAT YOU SENT TO YOUR FATHER. Those words kept echoing in my ears. I began to piece things together. I had said some pretty mean things to my father. I was so hurt that my own father would turn his back on me and my mother, and give me up for adoption. I hated him for doing that to me, and I let him know. What I didn’t know was that he was telling his sister, Aunt Matriarch, everything I said to him, and she was telling the entire family!
No wonder they were so cold to me, they hated me. I was attacking their beloved brother. It didn’t matter that he was my father, I was not one of them, but he was. I had lost the battle before it even began. I was so embarrassed and humiliated to know that my innermost feelings were broadcast throughout my family, and that no one shared my outrage. They were all content with what their brother had done, and they supported him wholeheartedly. I was devastated.
Aunt Matriarch’s 70th birthday was coming up, and I had bought her a card that said what a kind, loving person she was. I didn’t feel that was the case at all. I felt that she was trying to sabotage any relationship I had with my family by spreading all those things around. She smiled in my face, and talked behind my back.
I sent Aunt Matriarch the card, but I wrote inside how betrayed and hurt I felt by her actions. I added that I would never contact her or her family again.